The Moneyist: My brother and sister insist I share our mother’s $440,000 estate with their 8 children, or they’ll cut off all contact. What should I do?

I assumed we were splitting everything three ways. But then my sister in-law informed me that the grandchildren deserve a share. My brother has five kids and my sister has three children. I have no children, so they know they are in the wrong, and they’ve stopped all communication with me. They are stating I should (or will) get $58,000 from my mother’s estate or nothing.

I want to make this right. Should I just take the money?

Brother, Uncle, Son

Dear Brother,

It’s a classic 11th-hour twist.

The law is on your side. Under Arizona’s intestate law — when someone dies without a will — the spouse of a deceased person will inherit everything, even if there are children. If there are children but no spouse, the children will inherit everything. The law does not mention grandchildren, but if there were no children living, grandchildren would be next in line to inherit.

Your siblings are leveraging their relationship with you and your access to their children as a way to force you to reduce your inheritance from $147,000 to $58,000. They are putting a price on those good relations continuing, and that price is $89,000. It’s unfair and unethical to force you to share your inheritance with their children. The eight grandchildren should inherit from their parents, not from you.

“The rules for intestate inheritance only apply to estate assets, assets that are subject to probate,” according to Berk Law Group in Scottsdale, Ariz. “Stated differently, the rules do not apply to nonprobate assets or trust assets. So, before discussing ‘who gets what’ from an intestate estate, we need to define the ‘what.’ What assets make up the intestate estate?”

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